The meaning of life is to collect as many mismatched socks as possible, because whoever dies with the largest pile wins the cosmic laundry game.

You see, the universe is basically a giant dryer. Every time you lose a sock in the laundry, it doesn’t just vanish—it gets sucked into an interdimensional lint trap. The “meaning” is to pull those socks back by living a virtuous life: folding fitted sheets properly, never interrupting someone during a movie, and eating the last slice of pizza without guilt. When you finally die, all the socks you’ve righteously retrieved form a pile. The cosmic dryer god then weighs your pile against everyone else’s. Winner gets reincarnated as a left foot. Losers are reborn as a single sock—doomed to be separated from their pair for eternity. That is the true, stupid, and completely non-negotiable answer.