A Guide For Sufferers and Carers
Appendix: Depression, a Quick Daily Survival Guide
This section is designed to be returned to.
- Not read once and remembered perfectly.
- Not followed in a strict or demanding way.
But used, gently and practically, in moments when things feel difficult.
You do not need to do everything listed here.
You only need to find one small step that feels possible.
That is enough.
When You Wake Up (or Can’t Get Out of Bed)
- Do not think about the whole day. Think only about the next small action.
- If getting up feels impossible, begin by sitting up. If that is too much, simply open your eyes and notice your surroundings.
- Place your feet on the floor. You do not need to stand immediately.
- Count down slowly from 5 and stand when you reach 1.
- Drink a glass of water. This is a simple way to begin.
- Open curtains or turn on a light. Let in some form of daylight if possible.
- Tell yourself: “I only need to start. I do not need to feel ready.”
- If everything feels too heavy, choose the smallest version of the task. Standing is enough. Walking to the bathroom is enough.
Getting Started with the Day
- Pick one task. Not five. Not a list. Just one.
- Make the task as small as possible.
- Not “clean the house” but “put one item away”
- Use a timer for 5 or 10 minutes. Stop when it ends if you need to.
- Lower the standard. “Good enough” is the goal.
- Avoid waiting for motivation. Begin first and allow motivation to follow if it does.
- If you feel stuck, change your environment slightly. Move to a different room or stand instead of sitting.
- Remind yourself: “Doing something small is still progress.”
On Low-Energy Days
- Assume your energy is limited, and plan accordingly.
- Choose 1–3 essential tasks only. Everything else is optional.
- Alternate activity with rest.
- Sit down whenever possible. Conserve energy without guilt.
- Eat something simple, even if your appetite is low.
- Drink water regularly.
- If a task feels overwhelming, break it into the smallest possible step.
- Give yourself permission to stop when needed.
When Thoughts Become Overwhelming
- Pause and name what is happening: “I am having a difficult thought.”
- Remind yourself that thoughts are not always facts.
- Avoid arguing with every thought. Instead, step back from them.
- Ask: “Is this thought helping me right now?”
- If not, gently redirect your attention to something concrete.
- Focus on your senses:
- What can you see?
- What can you hear?
- What can you feel?
- Write the thought down if it keeps repeating. This can create distance.
- Speak to yourself as you would to someone you care about.
When Emotions Feel Intense
- Allow the feeling to exist without immediately trying to fix it.
- Name the emotion: “This is sadness” or “This is anxiety.”
- Slow your breathing:
- In for 4 seconds
- Out for 6 seconds
- Place a hand on your chest or hold something comforting.
- Remind yourself: “This feeling will pass, even if it takes time.”
- Change your environment if possible. Go outside or into a different room.
- Use grounding: focus on physical sensations like your feet on the floor.
When You Feel Numb or Disconnected
- Engage your senses deliberately:
- Hold something cold or warm
- Listen to music
- Take a shower
- Move your body gently, even if it feels mechanical.
- Do something familiar and simple, like making a drink.
- Do not pressure yourself to feel something specific.
- Remind yourself that numbness is a state, not a permanent condition.
Staying Connected (Even a Little)
- Send a short message to someone you trust. It can be simple: “Thinking of you.”
- Sit near others, even without talking, if that feels easier.
- If direct contact feels too much, engage indirectly:
- Listen to a podcast
- Watch something comforting
- Remind yourself: connection does not need to be deep to be real.
Eating and Drinking
- Aim for simple, manageable food.
- If cooking feels too much, choose ready-made or easy options.
- Eat small amounts if full meals feel overwhelming.
- Drink water regularly, even in small sips.
- Avoid judging your choices. Eating something is better than nothing.
Movement
- Keep it gentle and realistic.
- Stretch, walk around the room, or step outside briefly.
- Link movement to something routine, like making a drink.
- Do not aim for intensity. Aim for consistency.
When the Day Feels Too Much
- Bring your focus back to the present hour.
- Ask: “What do I need to get through the next 10 minutes?”
- Remove non-essential tasks.
- Give yourself permission to rest.
- Remind yourself: “I do not have to solve everything today.”
During an Emotional Crisis
- Pause. You do not need to act immediately.
- Focus on safety first.
- If you can, reach out to someone you trust.
- If that is not possible, contact a support service or helpline.
- Stay in a place where you feel safer.
- Remove anything that could be harmful if you are able.
- Use grounding techniques to stay present.
- Remind yourself: “This moment will pass.”
Before Sleep
- Lower stimulation gradually.
- Avoid screen time.
- Avoid harsh self-reflection about the day.
- Focus on what you did, even if it was small.
- Create a simple routine:
- Dim lights
- Sit or lie down comfortably
- If sleep does not come, rest is still valuable.
- Remind yourself: tomorrow does not need to be perfect.
Gentle Reminders to Return To
- You do not need to do everything.
- Small steps are enough.
- Feelings are real, but they are not permanent.
- Thoughts are powerful, but not always true.
- Rest is not failure.
- You are allowed to take up space, even on difficult days.
- You are still here, and that matters.
This guide is not a set of rules.
It is a collection of options.
On any given day, one small action is enough.
And sometimes, that one small action is what carries you through.
About the Author.
Richard J. Kirk BCS, ACS, DiPC, DiMAP, was born in the early 1950s in East Dereham, Norfolk, England and has a birth certificate to prove it. His mother passed at four days old and later was adopted in London and had his birth name changed to Richard J. Kirk. He carries a profound sense of identity and belonging. Though he describes his adoption as somewhat loveless, (perception may not equal reality,) He found resilience and purpose in his journey
Written off as a potential failure by his teachers and peers he rose to become a director of a ‘blue-chip’ engineering company by the time he was 35. Now retired from that successful career as an engineer, Richard resides in Eastbourne, East Sussex, where he has been an active member of a large Baptist church since 1980. He faithfully served in church leadership for over two decades, caring for members and supporting community life.
His eclectic background includes roles as a gliding instructor with RAF Kenley’s 615 Squadron and a social worker for Surrey County Council, where he met his wife Julia. Married since 1977, the couple has three grown children and five grandchildren.
His writing spans fantasy, science fiction, theology, non-fiction, psychology, and poetry. He’s the author of The Tales of Trymyll Trilogy, Thomas, Wizard’s Son; Jonathan, Dragon Master; and Glynda, Dragon Slayer. The Misadventures of Mathew Mathews. (Wizard, Occasionally Competent.), as well as more serious works, The Acts of Paul & Thecla, now in its third revised edition, and a work of fiction based on fact chronicling Paul’s Fourth Missionary Journey. Plus books on psychological issues and chronic illness.
He has also written or writing a series of easy to read and understand theology books spanning the New Testament. Starting with Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts …. Through to Revelation. This new venture will span about 20 books as he works through the New Testament sequentially. His devotional and practical works reflect his passion for clarity and accessibility.
A self-described “panster,” Richard writes fiction instinctively, while his non-fiction is meticulously researched. An avid reader, particularly of the Bible, he structures much of his fictional works with short chapters, ideal for bedtime reading.
He has also pursued additional training, including counselling and psychology. H
e continues to explore poetry, with a weekly poem being his personal challenge. He regularly shares blog reflections, nutrition insights, poetry and haiku on his site – www.josephmasonauthor.com.
Today, he writes both for enjoyment and in the hope of encouraging or amusing others. He invites readers to connect through his newsletter by subribing below. As an author, he uses both his birth name, Joseph R. Mason and his adoptive name, Richard J Kirk.
Please subscribe. Let’s support each other. I always follow back genuine writers, poets, and artists.
© Richard J Kirk – 2026. If you want to know more, see: About Me…
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